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Your Baby Shower Etiquette Guide Although baby showers have only recently become popular natural result of the baby boom of the 1940s and 1950s-they added to the pleasure and, thus, the self-esteem of mothers-to-be. They can also engender a sense of belonging and community. But they can also be a source of uncertainty about expectations and etiquette. Questions come up for the timing of a baby shower, whom to invite, who should plan and host it, and what to do about gifts.
In planning a baby shower, always trust your instincts and heart to ensure the celebration is fun and filled with joy. Still, widely accepted baby shower etiquette can guide such decisions as theme, and when to have a baby shower, for instance. With such guidelines, everyone will be more than sure to have a good time, including the most important person—the parent-elect.
Baby Shower Planning
No two baby showers are the same, and the celebration should really suit the desires and needs of the expecting parent or parents who are requesting it. Here are a few general tips to ensure that everything goes smoothly.
Who Plans and Hosts a Baby Shower?
In the past, people used to allow only a chum or distant relative, like a cousin or an aunt, to host a baby shower instead of an immediate family member. This rule aimed to avoid the perception that the family was solely focused on receiving gifts.
However, most cultural traditions these days do not strictly observe this rule. In fact, it is usually considered perfectly acceptable for a sibling, in-laws, or even the guest of honor’s parents to host or co-host a baby shower. It’s still unusual for a parent-to-be to host their own shower, though.
Typically, hosts hold baby showers four to six weeks before the baby’s due date, although they have the flexibility to hold them at any time. This timing ensures that the pregnancy is well advanced and reduces the likelihood of the baby arriving prematurely and disrupting the party plans. However, some people may prefer to have their showers earlier or later.
Some prospective parents may not want gifts, or even a celebration, until the baby has actually arrived, for religious or cultural reasons. Some cultures believe that it is bad luck to have items on hand for the baby before he actually arrives. You might do a little advance planning and wait until after the birth to schedule the shower.
Will I need to have games and a baby shower theme?
You literally don’t have to have games or even a theme; really, anything else. The fact is, a baby shower host really only has to cater to their whims and perhaps a few guidelines from the parent-to-be regarding what kind of agenda to follow. Seriously, there’s no rule that says you have to play X game, or it has to be pastel.
The most memorable baby showers, however, are those that have unique, nontraditional themes—or no theme at all! That said, many people love playing baby shower games or decorating with a theme. So, do what seems fun to you, the parent-to-be, and the guests.
Should you have a baby shower for a second (or third or fourth) child?
Of course, new parents see pregnancy as an exciting time and a baby shower helps them gather all the baby gear and supplies they need. Holding a traditional baby shower for a second or third child is kind of redundant. Others hold something called a “baby sprinkle,” which is more of a no-frills kind of deal to help the parents out when their newborn finally arrives and there could be other children around. Or you could just throw a party to celebrate the new baby.
Think, for example, of a “stock the freezer” shower or a parents’ shower with gifts like movie passes and promises of babysitting. You might instead want to host a fun celebratory social gathering that doesn’t focus on “showering” the expecting mom with gifts.
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The Guest List
Who should be put on the guest list for the baby shower has no right or wrong. However, there are guidelines that will help in making these decisions.
Who Should You Invite to the Baby Shower?
Of course, friends and family members should be at the top of the list. Only invite people who genuinely would be pleased to attend and likely to buy a gift for the mum-to-be. You should include the guest of honor in all of the decision-making, and let them invite whoever they want to come (within the limits of space and whomever is hosting the shower comfort levels, of course).
What is a coed shower?
While the classic baby shower has always been women-only, that’s a little outdated these days. First, not every pregnant or expecting baby person is a woman. Secondly, women-only spaces may exclude some very vital friends or relations.
The inclusion of all genders on the baby shower guest list has grown. On the plus side, if you do a baby shower for an all-gender baby shower, you wouldn’t have to change your plan much if at all. All-gender people could appreciate seeing new baby items and playing some baby-shower games. You and the expectant parent know your guests best and can decide on the guest list that will work best for the party dynamic you are hoping for.
Next, consider the personality of another parent-to-be or co-parent. Many would love to be a part of every aspect of becoming a parent, while others might not wish to be the center of attention at a baby shower. Or maybe the expectant person simply wants the party to be all about them.
Should you create a registry for gifts?
Babies can be a controversial topic. While some believe registering for a baby shower gift can come off as demanding a “shopping list” from your friends and family, to others, being able to assist the parents-to-be in filling their homes with newborn baby baseline needs awakening a light inside them.
At the store, employees directly create some products on the computer terminal, while they make others from a catalog or through an online service. Using a baby registry is a win-win for everybody. This includes the guest of honor who does not have the dilemma of repeating and exchanging the gift. Guests who otherwise don’t know the best gift to bring will also find it invaluable.
Many people frequently follow two etiquette rules when using a baby registry.
The first has to do with how you share the registry with your guests. Traditionally, guests have always considered putting the actual registry information into the baby shower invitation a faux pas. Many of the hosts are including it on a separate slip of paper or letting interested guests inquire.
While this view is still prevailing and practiced by most, particularly the older group of people, it is no longer a hard-and-fast rule. In view of the fact that digital invitation templates and baby shower websites offer space for a registry link, having all the details of the baby shower in one place is becoming common.
Are people who aren’t able to attend a baby shower expected to bring a gift anyway?
Guests do not have to bring a gift if they are unable to attend the baby shower. They might mail something to the host’s house, and then they can have that ready for the shower.
Also, invited guests who will not be able to make it to the party may opt to wait till after the baby is born and then mail or bring a gift to the new parent. But the time will come when he or she could attend a party where they are not obligated to give a gift, with the host or hostess present apart from that. An invitation to a baby shower is an invitation to a party not a request for a gift.
How soon should the guest of honor send out thank-you notes?
Generally, thank you notes should be sent within two to three weeks from the baby shower. Unless a baby gets in the way, of course.
Judith Martin tells us that waiting is quite all right, until after the busy newborn period. Well, in cases where sending out notes seems to be a daunted job, a text or email does quite well. It’s always nice to give them special appreciation, too.
